Together in spirit always my Daddy – Martin McEvoy 1950 – 2018
Script from my old blog drafted Oct 2018:
As I write this my dad resides in a hospice bed having endured a spell of ill health with amazing hope and tenacity that has left me inspired all over again by my Dad and his approach to life.
His mantra to me as a young boy was always that…and I will use his vernacular… “there is nothing beyond anyone.” He would elaborate by saying that when anyone has a determination to achieve a goal then the impossible is made possible.
As I watched him tonight grimace on his hospice bed while stoically listening to my news of the hum drum day and politely thanking the hospice staff for the attention he received, I felt in my heart that he was a great teacher of the spirit of a positive attitude – which he shows to this day by prevailing against ever mounting odds (I later found out from my mum that the blood pressure tablet he was hoping would restore his balance had proven to fail – he never shared that news with me his son – instead preferring to listen to my day).
I detected a glimmer of glumness in his demeanour as I spoke to him tonight but I rather cowardly didn’t broach the subject of his health status preferring to spend my precious moments with my dad talking about the smoothie recipes for a diet I had commenced and other work news that might piqued his strained interest.
What do I say to the man that gave me life as I watch his slip painfully away?
The mantra he instilled in me has carried me through many obstacles in my years on this earth – I have a gritty determination that echoes my dad’s approach to life and I am realising that its maybe no accident that the McEvoy name holds the motto ‘To bear, and forebear’ and it has just dawned on me that the spirit animal I received in my shamanic class was a bear with the meaning of enduring courage and strength.
My Dad had many attributes in his work life that I would be pleased to emulate in any way that is afforded me. He was generous with his workmen and had a great way of making someone feel important and mattered in getting the job done. I loved his phrase “Do that at your leisure…” which displayed for me the enjoyment he drew from getting tasks complete and epitomised his ability to make you feel at ease and not under pressure.
I worked all through my childhood with my dad; from carrying a brick to him in a childish gesture of help at around 6 or 7 years old, to eventually mixing cement and driving forklift trucks of materials to him on a dreary winters day during a break from transitioning to University from School.
I have studied spirituality in many guises over the last number of years and I am coming to realise that, possibly my best teacher of the gifts the universe can bestow on a positive mind was my Da.
The example he has shown in life of keeping a cheery disposition despite the adversity experienced is inspiring.
Through work trials and health problems I always recall him saying that you’ll always find someone worse off than yourself and he’d say that you come to realise that you have little to complain about.
My Daddy is dying – and that is difficult to type – but then aren’t we dying from the first day we are born and does the bible not say no one knows the day or hour… I hope my Dad can enjoy many more years of life into the sun setting on his journey. I know that what is important is not how someone dies but how someone actually lived.
Whether this is one path through life and then a return to heaven or a cycle of many lives that lead to a blissful state what is clear to me is that we have choices to make in life now how we face and overcome the many challenges that life can offer up.
I holidayed with my Dad as grown men together in visiting Kerry, Berlin and Southern Spain together I have experienced times with him as friends and just generally people who share a similar view to life as each other. That being ‘a stranger is a friend you haven’t yet met‘ and ‘we are all on a tough journey through this life and should be treated with fairness, kindness and respect.‘
Although not perfect in ways my Dad lives his life to the fullest and embraces each challenge with a vigour and determination that makes me proud to be his son as we uphold the family emblem of the McEvoy name in his ability to “Bear and Forebear”
Daddy, I love you!
Post script of 23rd March 2022:
I drafted this blog entry after a strained and emotional visit to my Daddy in the hospice in Newry in Oct 2018 for my old blog site that has now being closed. I felt moved to capture the mood I felt at that time as my Daddy was gravely ill, yet our whole family were torn between coming to terms with his diminishing health and his rugged determination to live.
Daddy passed into spirit, peacefully, on the morning of 18th December 2018.
Always in my heart he was more than my father. I felt him as my soul mate and when our seas got rough in life we could always lean on each other for loving support.
I know your supporting me now Daddy through life from the other side of the veil.
Blessed be your soul and all who’ve departed may we all rise in Christ.