‘Feel the Fear’ by Sinead McEvoy

It’s Sunday afternoon, I’m sitting alone and I’m angry with myself that the possible cause of my chronic fatigue has been my persistent fear of shining my light and sharing my healing gifts with the world.

An Empath’s Journey

Obviously being born an empath I’ve been conditioned to feel into everyone else’s energy, so I learned very quickly that by making others happy you retain your happiness.

This leads to an Empath becoming a ‘people pleaser’.

There is a difference in ‘people pleasing’ and genuinely being in service to humanity.

A people pleaser loses their identity by putting everybody else first and themselves last.

Therefore everyone else’s needs become more important; their lives become your priority; their opinions trump your own and you are made believe yours are invalid or even wrong.

This, in turn, leads to those others mentioned depending on you to make their life happier and thus creates an imbalance of give and take in life.

An empath’s biggest lesson is to use their healing abilities by being open to receiving as well as setting boundaries on other’s needs.

My Empath Story

On reflection upon leaving my job last year I’ve had plenty of time to ruminate on the Empath’s path and through this come to realise the energy imbalances that have been present in my life.

My calling or life purpose has always been to be an empathic healer but, as most spiritual people will hold in common, my experiences in childhood, most especially through the school years, lead to this impulse being suppressed or even worse laughed at by others.

In an effort to conform, I learned to shut down this gift.

This therefore lead me to mainstream my abilities into more commercially viable pursuits in my later schooling to the detriment of my true life calling.

Work Challenges and A Life Calling

My healing abilities started tugging at me during a challenging time in 2006, which I now view as a blessing in disguise, as it started me on my ascension path.

As a consequence of these challenges, I started to train in various spiritual practices such as: Reiki, IET, and Reflexology and became profoundly interested in exploring my spiritual nature more.

As I continued on this path I began embracing the idea of leaving, or at least, going part time, from my secure, safe job to using my gifts to help those in genuine need of healing.

Divine timing allowed me to take advantage of a ‘compressed hours’ work pattern and I used the time to work at a holistic centre to finally open myself up to my calling on my true path.

Holistic Services: My True Life Path

I view my time at the Holistic Centre as a true blessing and also a steep learning curve for me.

I thoroughly loved working with individuals knowing they recieved genuine healing from the therapies I practiced with them.

This time helped me release my fears of taking financial reward for my spiritual treatments.

As holistic therapists we are often condemned and told that it is wrong or fraudulent to take money for your gift.

This is very disempowering for both the therapist and the recipient of the healing: for as is stated in universal law there must always be an exchange of energy to create balance.

Therefore in offering a holistic therapy the practitioner must allow the recipient to give back to complete exchange.

In my time, at the holistic centre my energy levels were become more and more depleted.

I held the mistaken belief at the time that the treatments were the cause of this, but in retrospect the universe was giving me a signal that my secure salaried job was the real source of my energy depletion.

I wasn’t ready to admit that to myself and after much contemplation and weighing up my choices I gave up my holistic centre work and returned to my secure, safe option – despite my intuitive feelings.

Return of Work Challenges

As time passed, the job I’d returned to started to get more and more demanding, requiring me to give more of my energy to the role.

So, there again, I view this as the universe nudging me that it was time to go.

Alas, I ignored this once more, rationalizing that a secure, salaried job in a large organisation meant a sustained income and all bills being paid each month.

I buried the idea of becoming a person whom could utilize their unique skills and abilities to sustain a viable income flow.

I made the mistake of focusing more on short term material needs of my reality than embarking on what i knew to be my true life path.

A Final Wake Up Call from the Universe

Due to this indecision the universe stepped in once more, but alot more forcefully this time, to make the decision for me.

The shove this time came in the form of adrenal fatigue, manifesting in an inability to function in life to the extent that I couldn’t even get out of bed for many days on end.

These last two years have been extremely challenging and majorly life altering.

I went from being a non-stop active member of society with a busy lifestyle both in work and in my leisure time, to being reduced to an inability to hold my mobile phone for very long or even lift a kettle most days.

Life Lesson: A Empath’s Awakening

I now believe that my latest challenge is a great opportunity for personal growth and to heal myself first so that I may more effectively heal others.

By the universe stepping in so abruptly this time I’ve left my job and learned that the fear I held so tightly of this change of life was largely illusory.

The lesson I’m taking from all of my experiences is to always follow your gifts wherever they lead…

For money won’t always bring happiness, but happiness will always bring you abundance!

Epilogue

I’m still on my healing journey, I’m learning to push through my residual fears, worries and doubts that inevitably crop up from time to time.

I hold fast to the knowing that I’m guided to make my decisions as they feel right for me – I’m no longer suppressing my own intuition.

Life will always present us with choices…. some small, small big.

What I’ve learned is to listen to your heart, be guided by your inner voice that brings you more happiness in the long run.

Feel the fear…… and do it anyway!

By Sinead McEvoy

28th July 2019

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